The past is gone it is merely a memory that cannot be changed no matter how many times we play it over in our minds. The future has not yet happened, yet we spend hours and hours contemplating how to carve it out the way we want it. Why do we spend so much time trying to change and control it? Because we always want to have it our way and once, we have it that way then we change our minds and want something else. No matter how much planning we do there is no way to have anything be just the way we have imagined it or want it to be. Most of us approach the past and future as burdens in our lives that we try to change by doing or undoing. The Buddha reminds us that the past is done, and the future has not yet happened. Therefore, we need to be in the moment not clinging to anything. When we look at thoughts as just thoughts, we set up the condition of a healthy habit. We must be mindful to set an intention to be aware of our thoughts and the unhealthy clinging to the habit patterns. The constant ruminations about how we can change or control the outcome are futile attempts to have life be the way we want it to look. However, no matter how much we are hooked by our thoughts and ruminate about different outcomes we can never predict or plan out exactly the way we want it to be. Because anything can happen at anytime without notice.  

Most of us think that we have control over the things that happen to us in life. However, when we examine this what we find is we have very little control over what happens in our lives. Therefore, it is important to examine our lives, as Plato quoted Socrates, “an unexamined life is not worth living.”  Just as Buddha advises us to be mindful and look within to examine our thoughts and emotions so that we can recognize that they are nothing more than words. It is our attribution of a storyline that results in the fearful thoughts coming to life. If we want to change our thought and emotions, we must change how we react to them. It is essential to work on not taking them seriously.

Our fears have been manifested over millenniums. Our ancestors had reasons to be fearful. There were circumstances that were out of their control and running was a wise option for survival. They also feared not having enough food to eat and water to drink. Fear was the motivating force to forage for food to feed themselves and their family. But most of us in the here and now don’t have to be overly concerned with the survival of the fittest, unless of course you’re in a third world country or you’re below the poverty level. The point I am trying to make is that our worries, fears, and anxieties are not founded on life and death situations. Most of our fears are based on how long I will live, will my money last, will I get that job, body integrity, will my children be successful, will I have enough money to purchase a new house or car or boat.  Need I say more.  We are all concerned with our futures being exactly how we want them to look and not at all concerned about what this fear/anxiety is doing to the quality of our lives. Remember what the Buddha teaches, everything here is impermanent nothing in the world we live in lasts forever, the body, the job, the car, house, dress, or the current situation in the world. The only thing we have any control over is how we choose to interpret what we see.

Therefore, it is important to be mindful about looking at the way we interpret the things we see. It is wiser to look at everything in our view as a mirror into our own minds. Stop thinking that the problem belongs to someone or something else. Instead recognize that it belongs to you. Remember projection make perception. That is what I am referring to here. If you want to clean the mirror that you’re looking into, clean up your own thoughts by working on yourself. When you work on you own thought distortions and stories by taking responsibility for your actions in the world that improves all the relationships you have with humans and non-humans. After all the only mind and relationship, we can change is the one we have with ourselves. Aren’t you worth it!