THE STORY OF SISYPHUS

I would like to start this blog out in much the same way that my mentor talked about in one of his lectures from A Course in Miracles (ACIM). I will start by discussing the story of a King known as Sisyphus from Greek Mythology. He was punished by the gods for trickery. Zeus made him roll a boulder endlessly up a steep mountain, which he was never able to do. Every time he almost made it to the top he would fall, and the boulder would roll over him once more. For an eternity he was condemned to this fate.  In modern day symbolism Sisyphus is the symbol of every being’s pursuit of the meaning of life and the persistent struggle against the essential absurdity of life and our self-absorption and obsession with our own existence. In the Courses terms Sisyphus is the perfect representation of the ego’s thought system. However, he unlike us did not feel any guilt. He was eternally punished to a life of no hope for change. Does this sound all too familiar to you?  It is a very human experience to feel like we are being punished by someone or something and there appears to be no hope for change.  According to Dr. Kenneth Wapnick, Sisyphus became a great symbol of life’s futility. In this blog we will explore this myth in the here and now of our circumstances. My attempt will be to explore this from both the ACIM and Buddhist position which I feel very much overlap in their philosophical roots.

HOW DO WE STOP THE ENDLESS LOOPING OF THE MIND?

The first step in this process of healing is recognizing the outside world is a picture of our internal condition. The condition that I am referring to is in the mind. If our minds are filled with fear, guilt, anger, and shame this affects how we look at the world. Our external world gives us many opportunities to learn every minute of our day but if we are not mindful, we will miss the opportunity to learn and change our minds by reacting differently. Our minds are the processers of everything we see in the world and we can interpret what we see in a positive or negative way this is called our reaction.  When we process what we see we integrate it into our own experiences and use it as evidence to support what we see in our world. Then we make a flash drive with plenty of stories to refer to when we find ourselves in fearful uncomfortable situations and we produce these stories and pictures over and over again ad nauseum even though they no longer fit the current circumstances. Doesn’t that sound like the same struggle that Sisyphus had?  In ACIM and in psychology we refer to these situations as distorted perceptions of reality. Dr. Wapnick in a tongue and cheek way would refer to us all as being delusional and psychotic and from appearances we are not far from it.

The Course states projection makes perception. A little confusing right? What does that really mean? In the Course this refers to the wrong (ego) mind or unconscious mind which believes that we are separate from every other being and from God. In psychology it is “our recognition and interpretation of sensory information and how we respond to that information that we receive from our environment.”  In my previous blogs I have eluded to this, that our perceptions are comprised of the guilt in our minds. This guilt that we are completely unaware of is what makes up the mud that keeps us stuck in our suffering. Our lives at times seem futile because inside our minds we have fears, negative thought patterns, painful emotions, self-loathing and sometimes unresolved traumas. The development of this futility we experience results in suffering and pain with a desire to have this all go away expediently. I must emphasize again here there is no immediate result to this and there is no getting around the work that we all have to do to change our perceptions.

Because our thoughts seem real to us, we have made up stories and believe we did something in our lives that is so ugly it is unthinkable and therefore unforgiveable. Moreover, we deserve to be punished by ourselves over and over. However, while we believe we should be punished for our transgressions we also strive for constant relief by searching for pleasure while at the same time avoiding the possibility of pain. If that sounds like a trap to you your right, it is! Moreover, we are unaware that we have convinced ourselves that pain and pleasure are different. Both Buddhism and the Course would agree that the ego mind interprets pain and pleasure the same. We are attempting to create a false sense of comfort for ourselves. When we achieve that false sense of comfort it rarely lasts before the next wave of uncertainty occurs in our lives. Furthermore, since the world is filled with nothing but uncertainty, doubt and impermanence we are therefore destined to experience these waves that come and go. The results produce imbalance. Sometimes these waves may appear as minor irritations or perhaps a major earth-shaking event. There is no getting around that we have to accept the world as groundless. There is no certainty and nothing to compare it to, the rug is literally pulled out from under your feet. Whatever just happened may feel like the worst thing that ever took place but let me just say that this is your greatest opportunity to do life different. This is your chance to change your mind about what is really going on and dig into your distorted thoughts. If your feeling imbalanced, and uncomfortable with your conflicting thoughts, beliefs and behaviors this is what is referred to as cognitive dissonance. This is good because this is an opportunity to change your mind, your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. Afterall isn’t this what we are all looking and searching for, what we desire most to know. So, what is the secret of lasting change, your mind! We all have this desire to find the key to change our minds and lessen our suffering. The key is in each and every one of us as I have mentioned before ACIM refers to this as the Christ self, Buddhism refers to this as the Buddha self and yoga refers to this as the guru within. We all possess a knowing wise self that is veiled and waiting to be discovered. However, it is there beneath all of our stories and covered over with defenses which is referred to in the Course as the double shield of oblivion. This shield also prevents us from seeing the soft center of who we are or the love that lives in each of us. On the other hand, Buddhism refers to this as changing our belief in separation to one of interconnection which the Course refers to as Atonement. We stop believing in that we are separate and what’s more it never happened, and we are in a shared dream joined together through forgiveness. Therefore, the mind is the ultimate cause of our suffering in this life. On the flip side it is also the source of our happiness. Buddhism and ACIM would agree with that tenet if you want to find happiness you have to look to the mind for your answers. The key is in the mind no secret there.

The second step of this process is recognizing that even though our mind feels like our enemy because it is filled with those painful repetitive stories that we cannot seem to control, which we cannot. The mind is also our dearest friend, which can bring us love, wisdom, and beauty. According to Buddhism, “transforming the mind of suffering into the mind of joy is the secret of life.” ACIM states, “Look at the world for what it is. You can escape, but not by running away from it. Instead, join me in rising above it to the mind, seeing its insanity and choosing the sane response of Atonement.” Therefore, again we are told the only hope in this world is turning inward and changing our minds. When we are able to see ourselves and then the world differently that is change. Atonement here refers to correcting our minds and undoing our egos beliefs it also refers to forgiveness. Remember all transformation occurs in the mind. We must change our minds about ourselves if we want to find happiness in our world this is the only hope there is.  

The third step is application of this process which means once we accept that the mind is the place where change takes place, we then make a commitment to work with the mind, through training, like teaching it something new. Work with our minds can be difficult or not depending on what our level of commitment is. We are committing to a practice of mindfulness, self-compassion, acceptance, patience, forgiveness, and meditation. It is the same commitment we make in all our life endeavors such as marriage, becoming a parent, finding a new job or any academic endeavor. The end result of your commitment is dependent on what you put into it. There is a saying that I am sure everyone is familiar with garbage in garbage out. You get out of this process what you put into it. When it gets tough you don’t give up you get going! This is what is known as tenacity also known as stick-to-itiveness. You have to be able to look at the self-loathing and guilt and understand that it is not what we think it is.

WHAT DOES THIS COMMITMENT LOOK LIKE?

As previously noted in this blog life presents us numerous opportunities to heal our minds which assists us in waking up to what is going on. Part of waking up means learning how to establish a mindfulness meditation practice. In my practice it is common that I hear the following, “I cannot meditate.”  Sitting meditation is known as mindfulness-awareness practice. This is where it all begins this is your foundation. There is nothing mystical or magical about sitting on the mat. It does not mean that your mind should go automatically blank. In fact, if that is what you are expecting to happen then you will be waiting for a very long time. The purpose of meditation practice is to learn how to get closer to your thoughts, emotions and your body. This is the only way that we develop that unconditional friendship towards self. It will give you the ability to part the veil or the curtain that I referred to earlier that hides the truth of who we are. With the assistance of loving kindness towards self, we also have more of a capacity to be kind and loving towards others. Mindfulness is truly the pathway towards developing self-love.

Here are the benefits of meditation:

1. Recognition that your thoughts have no beginning place they just pop up whenever they choose.
2. Thoughts are never-ending
3. Thoughts appear but are not solid
4. When you add 1, 2, and 3 together what do you get? No beginning, no solidity and ceaseless.

I don’t know about you but that looks like a good enough reason to begin meditating. If thoughts have no beginning, no ending and are not solid what are we holding onto, nothing? My mentor would always use this quote from Shakespeare, “You have made much ado about nothing.” Since all minds are connected it was no surprise to me to see this quote used by Pema Chodren. How is it that we can make something out of nothing? That is a tricky question, but one that I know the answer to, it is our ego self that is in charge of this uncomfortable experience.  Again, I will emphasize that the ego is a trickster and only cares about increasing your suffering. In order to change this, you have to accept that you do not know what is in your best interest. Then we have to accept that there is no certainty in this world and no permanence. Therefore, we cannot control our lives no matter how hard we try to prove to ourselves that we can. Uncertainty is unavoidable in this world and this is the fabric of our fears.

LET’S GET BACK TO LOVING KINDNESS

When this is mentioned to a client their immediate response is how do I do that? That is a really good question, let’s take a look at that. First of all, you are not going to be going from self-loathing to self-love overnight. Let me say it again this is a process so if you are looking for a quick fix, I am sorry to inform you that there is not one. If anyone promises you instant happiness in this world, I would really be skeptical of that. There are no guarantees in life. This takes time, effort, commitment, tenacity and dedication to the process of awakening yourself to the truth. In Buddhism loving kindness is also referred to as maitri. When I discuss this with my clients, I like to compare this to a loving mother relating to her child. Would a loving mother choose to be unkind and condemning of her child? The answer hopefully would be no. In this situation I always suggest joining the mothering part of “self” with the child part of self because we are actually one in the same. Joining these two parts together actually will result in a stronger link between the two parts. Learning how to lean into your own oneness is important loving self and other. In fact, without learning how to have loving kindness for self it is difficult if not inconceivable to think you could feel that for others. Now before you start saying that sounds impossible let me just say this does not mean that you have to take a 360 degree turn and become a different person overnight. What this does mean is that you learn to embrace who you are, befriend yourself. You will still experience all of the thing’s other people experience you will just greet it with loving kindness. All I am saying here is keep it simple just learn how to be your friend. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend with kindness, patience, empathy, and compassion.

SELF-COMPASSION AND FORGIVENESS

Here we are at the end of this journey and we are going to end big! Self-compassion and forgiveness look very similar, but they are different. Pema Chodren states, “Compassion, is more emotionally challenging than loving-kindness because it involves the willingness to feel pain.” According to Dr. Kristen Neff, self-compassion is defined as:

1. The ability to recognize that others suffer and start to feel the same way towards yourself. This requires moving towards what scares us.
2. Compassion means opening up your heart to another person’s suffering. In other words, feeling someone else’s pain. Now the expectation is to also open your heart up to your own suffering.
3. When someone makes a mistake or experiences failure you extend caring and a desire to be helpful. Likewise, when you make mistakes or experience failures you want to reach out and provide that to you as well.
4. Lastly, when you begin to realize that all humans share this experience in common, we suffer, experience failures and are imperfect this bridges the gap between self and other and self to self. After all, why wouldn’t you want to extend the same loving kindness to yourself we are all a part of this imperfection together?

Pema Chodren states, “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

FOREGIVENESS

Forgiveness is another stumbling block for many. I have been practicing this piece of healing since 2009 this is a big part of ACIM. I have not come across this much in Buddhism and in doing my research for this blog I came across an article in the Tricycle Magazine that states, “Forgiveness Is Not Buddhist” by Ken McLeod. Intrigued by this I continued to read it.  According to Mr. McLeod, “forgiveness undermines the teachings of karma and encourages victimhood.”  

However, I am choosing to look at forgiveness as another extension of self-compassion. I began my journey through forgiveness in the Course. The Course encourages us to forgive ourselves for our madness and all the senseless roads that led to nowhere.  Let’s go back to the story of Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the mountain and never getting to the top. All of this futile effort for no positive results and a meaningless irrelevant journey. Instead of being angry and feeling hopeless about no results we are better off learning to forgive ourselves for believing we are something that we are not. According to the Course we take the hand of an all-knowing figure that has done it before to be to lead us through this process (Holy Spirit, Higher self, Buddha, Guru, Christ Self) and allow him to lead the way home. The purpose of forgiveness is to relieve us from our endless burdens.

Pema Chodren and Jack Kornfield discuss the importance of forgiveness from the Buddhist perspective. Forgiveness is a process that takes time it is not mastered overnight. I once attended a long weekend workshop with Jack Kornfield, and he discussed his relationship with his own teacher and how he had been encouraged to participate in a three-month forgiveness practice and then he unveiled the process in class. He stated that it changed his life and I was very struck by that statement. He then did a short-guided meditation with us that can be found in his lovely book “A Lamp in the Darkness”. I decided right then and there this is for me and proceeded to include that in my practice every day. It was indeed life changing and just what the doctor ordered. What I have learned over the years from all of these teachers including Tich Nhat Hanh is that forgiveness is necessary in order to stop the repetition of suffering in our lineage. There are many examples of this in our world, where without forgiveness countries will continue to be at war with each other, such as Israel and Palestine and the United States and the Middle East. There are many other great examples of this in our country today with the Democrats and Republicans against each other and throwing barbs at each other since 1792.

If you are up for the challenge this is what it takes.

1. A recognition that the cycle of suffering stops with me I choose not to pass it on in my lineage, to my children my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I refuse to perpetuate hate in the world.
2. The first step in forgiveness is forgive yourself for harming others
3. Forgive yourself for what you have done to yourself
4. Forgiveness of those that have harmed me is the last and most difficult step and it really does take time.

It is important to remember that this is just a part of the entire mindfulness process. Forgiveness releases us from the remainder of our suffering. Pema Chodren, states this very succinctly, forgiveness is a process that “allows us to let go of the past and make a fresh start. Forgiveness cannot be forced. When we are brave enough to open our hearts to ourselves, however, forgiveness will emerge.”