No matter what we want to believe or not believe we cannot get away from this one concept. The world is an outside reflection of our internal condition. Therefore, if our internal world is in conflict how could we see anything different in the world. In fact, in the here and now of our everyday experiences there is an abundance of conflict in the world we live in. It would appear that no one can come up with a consensus for what is true.

If we are confused, we hate ourselves and we have internal conflict that tells us constantly that we are not good enough what would we expect to see in the external world? Right, unrest, conflict and confusion about what to believe. Belief, what is it? Are our beliefs true, are they facts or are they a part of our ego system? I was listening to a podcast and the psychologist stated that the ego is totalitarian. I had not heard it stated in that way before, but I would agree with this. The ego is all or nothing, black or white, good or bad. He went on to say that the ego dictates our thoughts, and it is the egos job to keep out threatening information. In other words, when the ego feels threatened it becomes fully engaged and tries to keep us safe. The ego is like our armor that comes out to protect us from attack. But could this also protect us from hearing viewpoints that differ from our own and from expanding our mind and accepting something different? The challenge becomes how do we let go of our ego? The way we let go of our ego is through inquiry. Inquiry means being able to look at our egos and question the ego’s position which is usually pretty untenable. So how many of us are willing to go there and question our ego’s beliefs? When we are attached to our ego’s convictions, we feel strong and safe but is that true? I would contend that is not the truth maybe we feel stronger or safer in our own convictions but the more we attach to these convictions the more we fear losing what we have. This is what we call attachments. Attachments cause only unhappiness and suffering. Ask yourself what has holding onto old beliefs done for you? It is very much like what I discussed in my last blog, would you rather be right or happy? Most of us would rather be right and forego happiness because we are so entrenched in our old belief systems which supports our egos. We just cannot seem to get out of the web of deceit.

If we are going to change the world we live in, we have to be able to change our minds because we are creating the sickness in the world. I believe Gandhi’s beloved statement that I hear repeated by my yogi is one of the most important messages to embrace, “Be the change you want to see.” If we do not change our own minds what will our legacy be for our children and grandchildren? Right, more of the same pain that each of us is experiencing in the here and now. Remember, thoughts cannot harm you unless you believe they can. We are the sky and everything else is the weather it changes all of the time. Just like our thoughts they change all of the time and we cannot become attached to them or we will experience suffering. When we attach to what we are thinking we believe the thought is true. How do we know it is true? We don’t know it is true. It is impossible to know the truth. The truth is beyond what we can know. There are so many opinions out there and each opinion would contend that it is the truth. How could that be possible? Could there be millions of opinions that are truths? Who decides what is true and what is not? We each think that our perceptions/thoughts/stories are true. I am going to put myself out there for a minute and share a story with all of you. Recently I have had the opportunity to connect with an old friend from high school. I have only fond memories of her and my experiences with her. In fact, her coming into my life was a blessing back then because she shared with me her Jewish heritage. I was very interested in Judaism after that experience even though we did not remain friends and I cannot remember why because that was over 50 years ago. Anyway, we have reconnected over classmates and now she and I are communicating through emails. I decided to tell her about how she influenced my life and how grateful I was for her kindness and acceptance in my high school. She was surprised to hear that she had influenced me and we both shared how we are both now involved in Buddhism. I also asked her if she remembered when we were friends and she said she could not remember and then went on to say she did not know what happened, why we did not remain friends. Then she stated, “No offense, but you seemed like the pretty girl who gets the guy, marries early and lives happily ever after.” Wow, now this would be a perception that is completely untrue. What’s really weird about this is I have another friend who is still in my life from high school but lives in the Portland area and she de-friended me in high school as well. She pretty much said the same thing, “well I thought you were beautiful and popular and why would you want to be friends with me.” When she told me this I was floored as this was not my experience and I was not popular. In fact, I was an introvert who had very few friends and in fact I was bullied in high school. My point is that these two women thought something about me that was not my experience at all but nonetheless that is what they believed because that was their perception. However, perceptions lie. The point of my sharing this experience is to demonstrate to you that we cannot trust that we know the truth about ourselves let alone others in the world. We are going to see what we want to see, and what fits our story line. But that is most definitely not the truth. Be mindful of your thoughts, your ego and the stories you tell yourself as they are most likely not the truth.

The only way to let go of our thoughts, perceptions attachments is to be befriend them with kindness, acceptance and understanding. After all, if we cannot do this for ourselves how can we be there for anyone else. As Buddhist teachers remind us, if we cannot fully embrace all aspects of who we are, the good the bad and the ugly, how could we possibly fully embrace others. It is only through self-discovery that we come to know our true inner nature, our soft heart and our basic goodness. We are as Tich Nhat Hanh states both the lotus flower and the mud that provides the sustenance for the flower’s growth and beauty. If we do not acknowledge our own basic goodness how will we be able to see the goodness in others. This is the challenge in the world we live in today.