If you think this isn’t true think again! There have been many philosophers, psychologists and spiritual leaders that have given us this very same message and yet humanity just doesn’t get it. According to the Buddha, “our life is the creation of our mind.” In other words, all mental states that we have are preceded by a thought in the mind which is the master or producer of the story that we are willing to accept and repeat over and over again like a bad habit. Every day of my week is spent on this aforementioned quote. I personally integrate this into my daily mindfulness practice which I remind myself to utilize in my interactions both personal and professional. This is not an easy concept for any of us to accept but with practice we can always be a better version of ourselves.

Shakespeare stated, “What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is the creation of our own mind. There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so” (William Shakespeare, Hamlet). Shakespeare was one of my mentors most favorite authors. He was a genius at taking a Shakespearean play and putting it into A Course In Miracles (ACIM) framework. The Course states, “A thought is in the mind. It can be then applied as mind directs it. But its origin is where it must be changed, if change occurs.” Correct, those of you that work with me on a regular basis have heard me say thoughts are created in our minds.  Therefore, if we want to change our thoughts, we have to go to its source, the mind. Thoughts never leave their source, and our mind is the source. If we are not mindful and we do not garden the thoughts in our mind we will succumb to a garden of weeds. These overgrown unruly weeds are the bad habits that result in our unhappiness, anxiety and depression. What’s more we hang onto these bad habits/old beliefs tenaciously believing in their efficacy even though they no longer work and bring us no peace, equanimity or happiness. Why do we hang on so tight to something that no longer works? Because it is all we know, these habits/old beliefs have become the only identity we know. Therefore, without these known tools/old beliefs/habits, who am I?

Why do we resist the very idea of changing our minds or rethinking an idea?

According to Dr. Adam Grant in his new book, “Think Again”, “part of our problem is cognitive laziness”. I would concur with this statement most of us prefer to hang onto our old views than do the difficult work it takes to commit to changing our minds. In fact, one of my clients just this week stated, “I never realized how difficult this work would be and how committed you have to be to observing what you are doing.  Making a different choice to do it different seems hard.” Yes, she is right this is not work for the faint at heart. We are very resistant to considering that we may not know. People don’t like uncertainty and doubt to be a part of their life.  Not knowing makes us feel frail and weak. When we don’t know life seems unpredictable and we like predictability even if that no longer fits the situation. Admitting that these facts may have changed over time is tantamount to our survival or so we think. To question our thoughts, to reconsider our beliefs threatens the core of our identity, this literally feels like losing a part of self.

What I find interesting about this is that we don’t have a problem getting rid of old clothing, shoes, cars or furniture or renovating our home but when it comes to knowledge, opinions, beliefs and thoughts we dig in our heels. In the field of psychology, we call this seizing and freezing.  In other words, we prefer the comfortable to the uncomfortable discomfort of uncertainty and doubt. According to Dr. Grant, “we let our beliefs get brittle before our bones.”  Furthermore, we are more likely to listen to views that coincide with our beliefs and give us warm and fuzzy feelings than listening to a view that challenges our thinking. How many of you reading this blog spend much time questioning your beliefs and how they are working for you? Did you ever consider that these old habits are actually weighing you down and keeping you stuck from moving forward in life? I want you to consider that there is value in rethinking your beliefs and developing a mental flexibility can actually serve you well and possibly save your life.

Many of you have heard me say this in your sessions we have to be open enough to admit that we don’t know. This is a big deal for most of us that spent our whole lives pursing the goal of knowledge and the comfort of knowing. However, I can tell you from personal experience over and over again there has never been anything in my life that I can honestly say, “I know without a shadow of doubt that this is the absolute truth.” In fact, contrary to that what I have learned in life is I know very little if anything that is certain or a guarantee. It is also true that if you are prideful enough to think you do know what you will discover is you are wrong! Evidence based research supports humility over pride, doubt over certainty and curiosity over conviction. Whenever our ego is engaged, and we are not in our right mind or we believe we know, this is a sure sign that we are headed down the wrong path. When we are stuck in our rigid beliefs/thoughts we are literally asking for the universe to continue to give us experiences that will nudge us into questioning our beliefs. One of my favorite saying is, the more you resist it persists. Because literally the universe is always happy to continue to serve us messages that will assist us in questioning our own old broken beliefs.

If you think that letting, go of your old thoughts/beliefs feels like death you are right it does feel like a part of you is dying. The death of our ego is actually known as transformation. The most difficult tasks we have in life is letting go of our ego belief system because it is the only identity we have ever known. The Course In Miracles would contend that underneath all of our fears is the looming fear of death it is the pain, of all our sorrow, loss, anxiety, depression, and suffering. “It is the one idea which underlies all feelings that are not supremely happy” (ACIM). Again, in case you have not heard this before, thoughts are not something that we see outside in the world. A thought is nothing but the object of the mind’s projection. So, to be clear thoughts come from the mind that thinks it and these thoughts are then projected into our world. These projections are what we see when we look at the world and we want to change the world, our relationships, politics, diseases etc. We actually think that this will change the external experience that we are looking at which makes us feel uncomfortable. This will never happen you cannot change external circumstances in the world and think that will change the world. Remember the world is a projection of our internal experience. You must be the change you want to see in the world, change your mind and you can change your life.  “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make it a heaven or hell.” John Milton, Author of Paradise Lost 1608, English Poet

If you want to find out how you can do this. Stay tuned to the next blog and we will discuss the skills necessary to achieve the goal of mindfulness and change.