Those of you that are familiar with my work know how much thought I put into the topic I choose for my blogs. Weeks prior to writing I am reading, listening to podcasts and most importantly listening to my patients’ issues while trying to formulate what would be most helpful to discuss in my next blog. I also think it is important to stay on the topic of our own journey and the work we need to do. I recently read about the controversial topic of “common humanity”. Immediately I thought that is it, I am going to discuss this with regard to self. As human beings I think most of us believe we possess this quality. I have touched on this in pervious blogs, but I am going to take it deeper so here goes. Are you all ready?
Common humanity, what is it? Does anyone know what that means? Do we, have it? If we don’t have it, where do we find it? How do we integrate common humanity into our lives? This is an ethical issue that suggests how can all people live together in equanimity. I am going to attempt to stay away from the ethical political issue and remain focused on the necessity of human compassion. While looking for a definition of “common humanity” I found it to be actually quite difficult without the ethical attachment. However, from a Buddhist standpoint the most important component of our common humanity is self-compassion. Compassion is a relational term that suggests the ability to suffer with, whether that means with self or other. This means if you do not understand your own suffering how you could understand anyone else. As mentioned previously this practice of looking at oneself takes the ability to be still and the courage to look within. All healing is self-healing. From our own healing all else comes forward. This is why this work is so difficult and why we resist doing it. Honestly how many of us really want to take an objective look into our unconscious mind and confront the ego?
Common humanity is something that is often thrown around in podcasts, media and books. We are born human, but we are not born with humanity this is something that is not given to us like a one-time gift. Humanity is something that we cultivate over a lifetime or many lifetimes. It is questionable if any of us acquire this in our lifetime. When I think about that statement, I find this truly sad. What is astoundingly true about this is that there is an interdependence in the concept of humanity; we must first recognize our own humanity if we are going to recognize the humanity of others. When we consider the shared feelings of “I’m not good enough or I am not worthy enough” in our culture there is a recognition that there is a great deal of disappointment among us all. Yet we have such difficulty recognizing this. We have universal feelings of inadequacy, guilt, shame and fear among us. What do you think happens when our external world is experienced as dark? Moreover, what happens with all of this prevailing unconscious darkness that we perceive in our external world? Yes, of course you got it, projection makes perception. Therefore, what we all experience in one way or another are feelings of judgment, inadequacy, suffering and pain. However, instead of recognizing this as belonging to “self” I don’t want to feel it, so I see it in you and project my pain, suffering and inadequacies outward. So, what do you think that looks like? You got it the polarized, fearful, unstable, world we live in where no one feels safe. Don’t you all think it is time to go within and recognize that we are all responsible for the external picture we see in the world. It is not you against me, them against us, it is a shared experience, and we need to clean our projector lens.
It is a trap to think that one is better than the other no matter what we are looking at, it is always the same for all of us. We are all fearful, but we all express it different. It is a complete set-up for you to believe that one person is better than another person, or one group is better than another, or one religion is better than the other. In case you have not noticed in the past year this has been happening over and over again. When things go terribly wrong or not as we expected we all become very disappointed and saddened by the outcome and then we feel justified in pointing the finger at someone, something or a whole group of people. What we all need to be able to do is a little game that Pema Chodren calls “just like me” just like me that person feels fear”, “just like me that person experienced loss”; “just like me that person has experienced sickness”; “just like me that person lost their job or their husband, wife, partner, friend or their money”. Do you understand the point I am trying to make? We all experience the ills of our human existence we do not live on an isolated island.
The truth and the sadness about what I discussed above is when we have those feelings of self-loathing it is difficult to find our shared experience with someone else instead, we isolate and become more disconnected from others and the world at large. This is why over the past year we have had an uptick of depression, anxiety, drug abuse, alcoholism, child abuse, domestic violence, and shootings as well as suicide. The narrowing of our world and the lack of social contact, due to the pandemic has given way to a dogmatic perspective of the world. Our confined human experience due to the pandemic has made social media second to none with all kinds of true and untrue statements giving way to confusion. We cannot do anything about the world at large. However, we can learn to take care of our own minds that contribute to our external experience. Remember all minds are connected that means we are all one no matter what you believe. In order to alleviate our limited view, we have to be willing to be still and go within to the soft part of us the Buddha heart, the Christ Self and open our eyes with loving kindness, acceptance and compassion. We need to embrace who we are so that we can embrace other beings. Remember you cannot love anyone else till you love yourself. When we can be less judgmental of our inadequacies then we can be less judgmental of other’s as well. When we are able to do this difficult but necessary journey, then and only then will we be able to recognize our humanity and our part of the common humanity.
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ~ Albert Einstein
“Whether it is under the guise of survival and self-defense or directly expressed through dominion and greed, the failure to recognize the common humanity shared by us all lies at the heart of our difficulties. To overcome it, we should begin to develop, from the level of the individual through that of society to the world at large, what I call a sense of universal responsibility; a deep respect for every living being who lives on this one small planet and calls it home.” ~ Dalai Lama
“We will only begin to forgive when we can look upon the wrongdoers as ourselves, neither better nor worse. We need to remember that we coexist as mortals in the world, together, the wronged and the wrongdoer, and that, in our common humanity, the situation could readily be reversed.” ~ Leo Buscaglia
“If we could but recognize our common humanity, that we do belong together, that our destinies are bound up in one another’s, that we can be free only together, that we can be human only together, then a glorious world would come into being where all of us lived harmoniously together as members of one family, the human family.” ~ Desmond Tutu
Metta Prayer
May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be happy.
May all being be safe.
May all being awaken to the light of their true nature.
May all being be free.