According to venerable teacher Tich Nhat Hanh we can train for happiness a little bit at a time. The first lesson in training for happiness is to realize that it is not a destination but a journey. During this journey it is our undertaking to realize and understand that it is here, now. I am sure we can all remember working towards something that we thought was going to bring us happiness. However, once we got there, we couldn’t find it and we continued to search. Always searching and never finding does not bring happiness it only brings frustration and suffering.  

The piece that we all seem to be missing is that happiness is available to us all in the moment. It is not found somewhere out there. It is not a destination found when we are with the right person or having a child. It is not found in a better job, or making more money, or becoming famous. Happiness is right now in this instant. What we seek is inside of us, we merely need to look within to access the sweet spot in our hearts. Tich Nhat Hanh reminds us that although happiness is in the moment it is not possible unless you have freedom. So, what does that mean? If we are a slave to anything we will not experience freedom. Such as, if we are a slave to our addictions, our thoughts, our fears, or to our ideas, happiness will evade us. Freedom is cultivated by looking deeply into self and recognizing our own ideas and concepts and not attaching any meaning to these feelings, concepts, thoughts, and fears. If we can let go of our ideas, we will be able to cultivate freedom and the ability to be happy. It sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? But it is not that easy. Let’s take a deeper look into this.

I am sure all of you are wondering what I am going to address next and maybe you already guessed it, yup compassion! It is something I have discussed many times over the months. It turns out that happiness and compassion are interrelated. In other words, happiness is a function of compassion. It there is no compassion in your heart than you will not have happiness. Most of us are probably talking to ourselves right now, “well I have compassion and love for other beings.” That may be what you believe but if you have no compassion for yourself how can you know what that is like to give to someone else? This is where the rubber hits the road. Screech, we just stopped in our tracks. “Wait a minute you mean if I feel it for someone else, I have to feel compassion for myself. Well, honestly, I don’t think I know how to do that. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and quite frankly I am not sure I even like who I am. I really think I am not good enough or worthy of love. What’s more I would feel selfish about taking care of myself.” This is a common thread among all beings. However, we are all worthy of love, kindness, compassion, acceptance, and happiness. The only thing that holds us back is ego self.  

Next time you hear yourself condemning yourself I want you to ask this question, “Are You Sure?” We are human and we have wrong perceptions all the time. Because we are all human, we all are subject to wrong perceptions. Because we are all in the same boat rowing in the same direction why not help each other to correct our cognitive distortions or misguided perceptions. Meditation is a very helpful tool if we take the time to sit and breath through our misguided perceptions. The thoughts or feelings that we are having will only last a few moments and then disappear. We must be able to see their impermanence. The only thing that keeps our thoughts and feelings burning is our misguided perceptions. We must all take the time to recognize that seeing the impermanence of feelings and thoughts results in less suffering. Mindful breathing assists us in our meditation practice and will assist us when we get stuck in our thoughts and emotions. Tich Nhat Hanh recommends a breathing technique referred to as taking ten mindful breaths in and ten mindful breaths out without thinking. It is helpful to count your breaths such as one breath in and one breath out. Continue to count one breath in and one breath out till you get to ten and then start over again. There is one caveat here if you have a thought, you must start your ten breaths over again. Simplistic but not simple!  The counting is there to help us with getting stuck on any one thought. Instead of ruminating on any one thought we are focusing on our breathing and the numbers. Once we have become more adept at this technique we can let go of the counting and just continue breathing. I tried this; I would not suggest that others do what I have not done myself. If you think this sounds simple enough, I encourage you all to try this. It took Sister True Dedication, one of Tich Nhat Hanh’s nuns a couple of months and still she reports that she has hiccups in her practice. I have been practicing for years and this is not an easy task. However, I encourage you all to try this. To do this you must be completely centered on the breathing which is occurring inside your body and away from your mind and thoughts. This is known as concentration in Buddhism and in neuroscience it is referred to as interoception. This literally means we are practicing awareness in the breath work and what the body is experiencing. For instance, is the breath long or short, deep, or shallow, painful, or smooth? You must be completely in touch with your breath and your body senses and out of your ego mind to do this.  

According to the Buddha’s teachings we must embrace signlessness. The Buddha defines signlessness as seeing past bodily signals which includes the mind. The Buddha states, “In a place where there is something that can be distinguished by signs, in that place there is deception.” Therefore, we must be able to see the signless nature of signs if we want to have accuracy in our perceptions. Most of our perceptions are inaccurate and erroneous because they are from our own pain and suffering. Accuracy in our perceptions is dependent on our insight and this is then referred to as knowledge. In Buddhism knowledge is referred to as prajna, the wisdom and understanding beyond signs. For instance, when we look at an object, we perceive it in the way we identify it. Such as, the number 1 is 1 and is not 2. Looking deeper at this is that true? Yes 1 is 1 but it is also related to 2 because it is also a number. Just like the letter A is recognized as A and not B. But when we look closer, we see that A, is related to B, and C and D and so on. Does that make sense? Let’s apply this to someone we love, a partner, or a friend. When we look at that person do, we just see that person, or do we see all the other things that contribute to who he or she is? Therefore, each of us is the compilation of all of who we are, our education, career, roles, our parents and their parents, our entire ancestry. This is why where there is a sign there is an illusion. To judge someone or something on a sign would be misguided and not based on all the information and since it is impossible to have all the information it is fruitless to perceive. There is a saying in The Course, “projection makes perception” which equals deception.

We are about to enter a new year shortly and I think this is a time for renewing our commitment to awakening to being present. The world needs healing for all sentient beings, minerals, plants, and mother earth. We are all in need of acceptance, compassion, and love. Let this be the year that you take time to invest in yourself so that you can be there for all beings and non-beings alike.  When we are able to recognize that everything that we had been searching for is within, peace and happiness will follow.