The last time I discussed this issue was in July of 2020, but I somehow found myself drifting back to this topic. Unfortunately, this country has not seen much improvement and may in fact be looking more troubled as time goes on. In fact, I could make a case that the world has fallen more victim to hatred and violence. I am seeing a substantial increase in clients reaching out for help and feeling overwhelmed by the state of our country. The fact, that people are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed by what is happening in the United States of America sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Let’s look at that a little deeper. Why are people feeling overwhelmed depressed and anxious in our country? Why, because there are so many unknowns happening in our country all at the same time. We have the perfect storm, a triad of issues, we have the invisible war against the Coronavirus, the political tyranny, and the racial strife. All three of these issues are creating a lot of fear, anxiety and violence among us because we all want to be right about what we believe in. I think there are very few people who know what to believe or who to believe when there is so much news going around the internet. Did you know that fake news travels 6 times faster that real news? I couldn’t believe it either, but I heard it in a documentary and if you have not seen this documentary, I suggest you go to Netflix and watch it. The movie is “Social Dilemma”, it is well worth watching. Bottom line there is a lot of descension and hatred going around in this country and it is becoming increasing uncomfortable for all of us.

There is no widely accepted definition of hate instead it is dependent on who defines it. However, there is an agreement that FEAR is a major contributor to HATE. We fear what we do not know and do not understand. Hate is an old English word “hete” defined as an intense extreme hostility and aversion to something or someone usually stemming from fear, anger or a sense of injury.  Hatred is psychologically related to love, but it is not the opposite of love, or the absence of love, it is more complex. Hatred, however, is one of the major mechanisms that triggers acts of great violence such as, massacres, terrorism and genocides. What we fail to understand is that hatred is a direct reflection of our own internal conflicts coming from our ego-self and the denied part of self, referred to as the shadow.

Aristotle a Greek philosopher in the 4^th century BC was one of the first to contemplate hate, enmity. He defined it as the act of being hostile to someone or something. Hate is considered a dislike for someone or something based on our negative perception of that person’s nature so much so that the other person wants to cause real harm to another being.  It is also possible to hate more than one person or a whole group.

Sternberg’s work that I quoted in a previous article cites a relationship between hatred and lack of intimacy, passion and commitment. In other words, if we can distance ourselves from one another it is easier to hate and have an aversion to that which is different, and we don’t understand and yes even hate. In contrast intimacy seeks connection with the other and denial seeks detachment. Distancing ourselves from what we do not understand allows us to dehumanize, demonize and reject a certain person or group of people. Such as demonizing a religion, a race, a political party or a specific politician or country as less than, which is relative to the one who is doing the judging or the distancing. The distancing is what allows us to give ourselves permission to treat the other as subhuman or inhuman in comparison without any regard for real knowledge. When in fact it is really impossible to know the truth about anyone unless you really know who you are. Herein lies the complexity of the problem in psychology and spirituality all hatred is a projection of the mind that hates itself and then is projected outward without any knowledge about what one is doing. Yes, believe it or not we are all responsible for the hatred that we are witnessing in this country today. We cannot just sluff it off and say someone else is responsible but not me because I am the innocent victim and that person over there is the guilty, evil villainous persecutor. This is not really how it works in the universe we all have to take responsibility for trashing the world, it was not just one person who created the trash we all created it through unconscious living.

Although Freud never really discussed hatred in his work, he agreed there is a thin line between love and hate. When you think about it, they are the same coin just opposite sides. Carl Jung, stated, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Observing what we hate in others can give us insight into our own unconscious mind. Everyone is a mirror waiting for us to look into giving us an opportunity to see what is embedded deeply in our own minds. It is only through our interactions with others that we learn to understand ourselves better. When we participate in this process it gives us the ability to identify what it is in us that resonates so deeply with the other and learn how to accept that part of self and other.

Let’s now address it from A Course In Miracles perspective. The Course would say, “when you attack yourself it is a sure sign that you hate yourself…. or what you think you are.” The image of hatred can be very destructive. What is most moving about the Courses philosophy is that hatred is very destructive to all beings, yet we are not afraid of the ego that projects hatred and we embrace its dictums.  What’s more we fear looking beyond the shield that we think protects us because we are fearful of what we may find. What we fail to realize is that Love cannot enter where it is not welcomed.  But hatred does not even have to knock at our door it comes in freely on its own volition and cares nothing for you!  Don’t you think that’s odd? Why don’t we take the time to question this? The answer is we are too afraid to look beyond the clouds or the obstacles that surround us to the clear sky that may lie ahead. We fear the unknown and we are comfortable with what is, even when it hurts us.

OUR BELIEFS HAVE TO CHANGE

Our beliefs are distorted by our incessant fears and thoughts that swirl in our minds making us feel insane most of the time because of our stories. Remember, “as soon as you believe something you can no longer see anything else (Tao).” Humans believe the best way to live is to avoid pain, just get rid of it, however they can never get rid of it. We don’t like uncomfortable; we don’t like pain or suffering.  Why? Because pain does not work that way, we cannot get rid of what we don’t understand. We have a common misunderstanding about life we believe it should be happy, joyful, comfortable and devoid of all pain mental and physical alike. Therefore, when uncomfortable, unhappy and painful happens instead of looking at it we just want to get rid of it by any means, even if it makes us crazy doing it. Our usual ways of getting rid of it are our embedded habits, alcohol, drugs, food, sex, retail, surfing the web, exercise, virtually any distraction that takes us away from the pain we are feeling in the moment. The results of these defense mechanisms of distraction, avoidance, and denial, known as neuroses, is that we never move any closer to seeing it as part of our life experience. If we could integrate it into our human life experience, we are capable of moving through it. Human beings cheat themselves from experiencing life fully because they are always running away or trying to avoid or distract themselves from what is truly happening in that moment. They fail to realize when they turn away from the darkness/neurosis/depression/anxiety/pain they also turn away from their innermost wise self/wisdom. You cannot throw away only the bad and think you can just keep what is good. Life does not work that way; we are darkness and light and all shades in between. We must look at what we are given in life and awaken from the dream which are the perpetual stories that we tell ourselves.

THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HEAL

The only true way to heal is to look within and get to know yourself intimately well. The process of turning inward is uncomfortable because it is an unknown and we fear the unknown element. Letting go of who we think we are helps us to have less attachments and a greater ability to see ourselves more authentically, as well as see others clearly.  The path Home to Enlightenment is paved with letting go of our judgements of self and learning to let go of the ego self. The following is what we need to recognize on our journey:

1. We all experience joy
2. We all experience pain
3. We all experience relief
4. We all experience sorrow

These are the four elements of healing. These elements are what I refer to as the tapestry of our life experience the good/light the bad/dark and the neutral/grey these threads all weave together into a beautiful piece of art called the Dharma in Buddhism. The nature of our reality is the truth. The greatest obstacles to recognizing this truth are our resentments, anger, fear and hatred. These are not just obstacles to our own peace, but they are obstacles to the peace of all beings. We must all use our life experience to wake up. Whoever and whatever enters into our life becomes our teacher, an experience to awaken, another opportunity to heal. These unhealed threads of our tapestry provide us with opportunities to acquire a deeper understanding of our own lives. We all need to stop telling stories that do not serve us well and only result in more personal and world pain. Remember there is no such thing as a true story. Why, because a story is dependent on who is telling it and the story consequently prevents you from truly seeing the truth. Furthermore, it blinds you from seeing anything else.

The world we live in is in crisis because each of us is in crisis. We are all unsure of who, or what to believe or when it is all going to happen or go away. No one knows when respite will arrive, and we are all feeling it. What we don’t realize is that the pain is a projection from each of our ego minds, we are all responsible for the pain. We are all failing each other because we do not see that there is only one way out and that is through these multiple dilemmas, Covid-19, politics and racial strife. The defense mechanisms we have chosen to assist us with our suffering have only resulted in more pain because they do not work, and they certainly do not protect us. Our defense mechanisms, neurosis do have a purpose, although short lived, its function is distraction and avoidance. Furthermore, it provides us with the illusion that in the moment we are okay and then it all comes back with a vengeance. What we need to be asking ourselves is what is this anxiety, depression, fear and pain protecting us from? The answer is it is preventing us from waking up, from wisdom, from seeing the truth about who we really are. In fact, the only person present in every scene of our stories and drama is each of us.  

The Course states that it is crucial in this world to look at the hatred. There is no one out there who can do this for you. We need awareness of its existence to wake up we cannot wake up in denial it does not work that way.  Not looking, not recognizing, not accepting it as part of us mean it becomes a disowned part of self and an obstacle to seeing and to your ultimate peace. The Course would contend that the thing we fear the most is knowing who I am and that I am the one who put the thought or fear there in the first place and then forgot we put it there. What is really silly about this is we put it there and we are not afraid of it even though we pretend we are. We may not like the fear, we may want to get rid of it, but the funny thing is we just keep it near and dear to our hearts. We cannot just get rid of it without moving through it, understanding it, recognizing it accepting it and yes loving it. Another aspect that is truly interesting or crazy is that we are not afraid of attack or disturbed by hostility we actually keep it hidden and neatly tucked away. In comparison we are more afraid of love. We embrace hatred and project it into the world. The Course would say that we are more afraid of what is underneath it than what is visible. If we had the ability to look within and we all do what do you think you will see in those darkest moment of our lives? What we would really see is that it is merely an illusion a smoke screen. The illusion tells us it is protecting us but how can fear, self-debasement and pain protect us? The ego tells us not to look because we will go mad if we do. However, it is not the truth. We are afraid of LOVE and where there is FEAR there is no Love. Fear and Love cannot coexist one totally replaces the other. If we were really honest with ourselves isn’t it harder and more frightening to say I love you than I hate you?  The Course contends that we associate love with weakness and vulnerability, and we fear it and we associate hatred with strength. It is crazy to think that we are not afraid of hatred or self-hatred, judgment, self-crucifixion, what we are really afraid of is redemption. The Course states, “under the ego’s dark foundation is the memory of God, and it is this that you are really afraid of. For the memory would instantly restore you to your proper place, and it is this place you have sought to leave.” 

Let us not forget that we built this whole insane thought system in the world we live in to save ourselves from feeling small and helpless. What we don’t realize is that we did this to protect ourselves from the truth about who we really are, children of God/Love. The Course states the following, “you have used the world to cover your love; and the deeper you go the closer you come to the love that is hidden there and it is this that which frightens you.”  Believe the Course, believe Buddhism, believe in the God of your choice or believe in psychology they are all saying the same thing. We all need to look within and embrace ourselves and others. We must accept, be kind, loving and compassionate because we are all on the same battlefield of life no matter what the outside appearance is or what differences we have. We must embrace all beings, really look at ourselves, embrace our fears and demons and know underneath it all is pure LOVE. Love is our true legacy only love. Remember nothing will enter into our consciousness without our permission so take time to give it permission to enter and then don’t be afraid to look at what is really there, because it is beautiful.

LOOK BEYOND THE CLOUDS – THE OBSTACLES WE PLACED THERE TO PROTECT US FROM THE TRUTH, IS THE CLOUDS AND CLOUDS MOVE WITH THE WIND AND THE TRUTH REMAINS WHICH IS THE SKY. WE ARE LOVE HEREIN LIES THE PEACE OF GOD.